Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize