I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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