yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
