yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
