Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's always time for handjobs
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
