thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
