it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
There's always time for handjobs
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
