He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
