I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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