I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
