exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
