Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
