i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
This toilet bowl is my home.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
