Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
