We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
