is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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