good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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