I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
