this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize