five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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