Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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