Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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