He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
