whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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