I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
did i just pee glitter
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
