I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize