I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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