my mouth tastes like poor choices
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
only you would photoshop your dick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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