why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
