Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
