my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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