i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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