Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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