Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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