Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
