Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
