there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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