picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
