I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You were trust falling into bushes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
