Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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