I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
