I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
