So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
These tits shall not be calmed
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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