So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
