ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
