im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
