Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize