Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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