guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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