Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But theres a keg here and me gusta
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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