That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
