we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
