I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
