He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
