You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You need a sexual gate keeper
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
