Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
