the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
