the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
