I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
