we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
