so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
